Should A Wannabe Influencer Pal Stop Using People for Material?

One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?